I hate waking up and thinking am I doing things right?  Is everything okay?  Is he happy?  I'm sick of him being so secretive about his phone...his computer....it makes me feel like he's trying to hide something.   I signed onto his FB which is the only thing I still have a PW to....he deleted an email he sent to Jayne Kennicott.  For what reason, I'm not sure, because the email didn't say anything other than the fact he seen her on his way to work.  Maybe he thought I'd be mad....

I thought this valentine's day we'd talk about things...or at least have sex....nope.  neither.  I'm supposing that he'll blame that on me because I don't put forth effort and he has given up.  Which makes me sad....and makes me wonder is he getting it somewhere else?  I don't think he would, but there are some times that I feel like I don't know him.  Regardless of how he feels, I love him....and I'll love him till the day I die.  He has been the most amazing man I've ever met in my life....

I get scared from time to time....I'm afraid we'll split up...I'm afraid he's not in love with me anymore...I'm always afraid and wondering if he's still happy...ugh, i just want to feel normal again....