Monday, January 4, 2010

2010....A year for a better me.

So far this year I've ordered the following books:
  • Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires, The Respect He Desperately Needs
  • The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate
  • The Heart of the Five Love Languages
  • She's Gonna Blow!: Real Help for Mom's Dealing with Anger
  • The Power of a Positive Wife
  • The Power of a Positive Mom
  • What the Bible Says About Marriage
I'm hoping this can help me get a better idea on techniques to use to become more happy!  More positive...among other things.  

After our  argument on NYE...I've realized a lot of things.  I'm controlling or I think we said a better word was clingy...I'm negative (horrible habit of being a negative nancy)...i talk to him like he's nothing...  and i've been doing this for so long and haven't even realized it.  

So it was pretty heartbreaking to know I'd been hurting the one person I loved and cared for the most for so long.  So this is it for me...no more angry me...no more hurtful me...no more negative me.  I realize it will be a tough personal journey...I understand that some days will be easier than others, but I'm willing to change.  I'm willing to become a better person for my family, for my friends, for my own personal well being.  

We've talked about me going to see a counselor as well...whatever I need to do.  I love him & I wanna be with him for the rest of my life.   I'll do whatever it takes. 

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