Another night where I let my emotions get the best of me....I guess I really needed to talk to someone...or I guess I should say I needed to talk to my husband.
There are a lot of times I feel lonely after being in this house for a year. Sometimes I absolutely love it and I enjoy being able to be here and get things done....BUT then there are times like tonite that I was a little lonely....a little desperate for someone to talk to....and im pretty sure everything I said came out sounding like this "bitch, bitch, bitch...nag, nag, nag"
I'm insecure with myself, my relationship....I think everything hangs in the balance right now and I'm scared that one little thing I might do could make it fall either way. I want so bad to be this wonderful person...but at the same time, I want his support. I want him to come home and try more to make conversation...i understand he talks all day and when he gets here he wants to shut down...but i'm feeling the opposite...I need someone to talk to besides this blog, these walls, or myself. I could bawl my eyes out right now.....I feel like I'm doing everything wrong. I feel like I have a husband who doesn't wanna spend time with me.
Am I supposed to sit back and say okay dear, do what you wanna do, I'll be here waiting. I'll be here taking care of the kids, the house....just go do you. I just dont know what I'm supposed to be like....
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